Tears: to cleanse or to drown?

Somehow I cannot summon tears anymore.

Looking back at the past year, I can hardly believe that it has been a year.

And I hear songs that resound my life and love and sorrow...and I remember them all and I sit down in cold ashes...I reflect and I mourn again and again and again and I wonder when will I learn to no longer hurt, to no longer allow the past to monopolize the present. I can wish to walk forward, and yet I realize my folly and I weep...I want to weep. There are few tears left for all that. There will be too much sorrow for the future. I'm saving my tears.